Friday, November 30, 2007

Project Runway: cricket-cricket

This week, on Project Runway, the designers had to create a menswear piece suitable for The Today Show. Wednesday night's Distress-Fest demonstrated the designer's inability to piece together such attire, and the overall effect of the episode was equally dull.

A firm believer in self-medication, I waited and waited for the Springer-dramatics and fabulous-fashions I HAD BEEN hoping for to fix me through another week of college finals-hell.

But, just like last week, the fashion and feuds never came.
Nearly a quarter of the way completed, I have YET to be awestruck by any of the designers of Season 4. The greatest reactions I have had, in fact, were in response to those instances LACKING clothes.

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say this show has "jumped the shark..." like the authors Tom and Lorenzo of the blog Project RunGay, but I would like to use their blogging style to spice-up some of the only fanatics of this episode:
"Same time tomorrow?" "Yes, please!"
"Why couldn't they just get rid of Christian? Nobody would have cried!"
"GASP!!! ... ... I hate you with the fury of a thousand Michael Kohrs!!!!"
"Designers, I am honored to introduce Tiki Barber ...."
"Whoooo? ..." cricket, cricket
"I talk like my lips are chapped! Where's my Sunny D?"

"Hi, my name is Rami, aka Monet. "

"But you can call me, The Mummy. "


"'Sorry, I would love to talk to you right now, but I can't.' ... I'm acting straight."

"I'm just THIS side of comatose. Tiki has me on drugs."

"I heard THAT -- I know the feeling. Mmm ... drugs."

"My design looks like a Members only jacket!??! Oh NO YOU DI-UNT! I'ma cut a bitch, right here in this studio -- I'm talkin' ssslice ssslice!! Get out my way!"

"Oh. Don't say bitch." Hoooooock - ptew. ... "RAINBOWS AND LOVE!"

"I'm the only thing fabulous about this episode."

"Well bad is it?"

"Sweet P, I am going to be completely honest with you. It looks as if you shit your ass off and pinned it to a dress form. It is just egregiously bad."

"I am totally chafing in this."

"Soy Nina GarcĂ­a, OKAY?! Cry before me!"

Life is hard.

ARROWED!!!!! "OH! It hurts. Where dat SKANKY BARBER WOMAN!?!"


Anonymous said...

I hope next week brings some sparkle back to the show we love! All the desingers seemed so promising! What happened?! What's going on this season?!?!

By the way, this was a fun read. Thanks!


Anonymous said...

Yes, this was HIGHLY amusing! My favorite part is Jillian. . .that woman (er, ROBOT) freaks me the eff out. OMG. < shudders > See -- maybe aliens have planted some kind of chip in her, or maybe a race of alien slugs have siezed her brain. Whatever the cause of her creepy composure, I'm terrified of her. Could you imagine sharing a room with that woman? When she wakes up, she probably opens her eyes very simply, all at once -- wait, what am I talking about? She's a robo-alien, she doesn't sleep. She just lies there very still, eyes open, and when the sun comes up she very simply gets up with her special brand of detached, mechanical grace. God, I love Eliza. She may not be my favorite designer (sorry, but none of them desrve that title yet -- you're right, there really hasn't been a lot of WOW yet), but she's my favorite cast member, fo sho. Christian is awesome, too, though. Jack plus Kevin equals gay-love.