Tuesday, November 25, 2008

6NEWS Morning Update - November 25

Last night, I recorded yet another mock, morning show. Check out what's going on in Lawrence today!

It's true, I look a little haggard - I was rushed.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Captured Cats

You've heard of lolzcats? My cats are crazier - meet "captured cats."
My 3-legger, Pitters. Taken on a day when she was being particularly clingy.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

6NEWS Morning Update

In addition to working at The Herb Companion (on my blog The Garden Gnome), I've also been doing a Friday internship reporting for the local TV station Channel 6 News. My top shirt button broke right before this was filmed. Take a look:

This was recorded for the morning of November 18th. It was not aired live.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Shirtless Uniballer - Todd Reesing and Adolph Hitler

Right now, I'm working at a magazine in Topeka, and as part of my job, I get to use Google Analytics - a fascinating spy tool that tells you just about everything you've ever wanted to know about your Web site visitors.

For instance, did you know that people have visited Taylog in Turkey, Egypt, New Zealand (tell Lucy hi!), and some place called Saint Kitts & Nevis? And while most users were browsing in Internet Explorer, some came on a Playstation 3 and a Playstation Mobile?

Did you also know that, the search engine keyword typed most often that leads to my page is "todd reesing shirtless"?


Well, I thought that was kind of funny, especially because this blog has virtually nothing to do with Sports - and my attempts to actually take photos of Todd Reesing shirtless were, in effect, thwarted.

But, if that's what brought you here, be not disappointed - here's a photo I maliciously stole just for your appeasement.

Anti-climatic much?

Oh! And this just in:
Adolph Hitler really did have just one ball.

Karma can be a real bitch.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Better Hold On, Spider Monkey - Twilight, a Review

Rare are those movie moments that compel me to immediate blog action; having just witnessed a real gem, I am here to wish that rare they remain.

I try not to compare books to movies, but the movie Twilight actually felt like a spoof of the book. Following the plot-line so closely, it was one of those, "Scary Movie" flicks - only worse, because it took itself seriously, (fancy the work spoof-actors-of-America have ahead of them with this piece!)

Twilight was a hot mess on a hot summer day.
I came prepared with my "Team Edward because Jacob doesn't sparkle" t-shirt (with special hand-appliqued rhinestones!) matched with my Glittery smile and the best Twinkie persona in my closet, only to realize that I expended more time, effort and personality into my hand-made creation than the movie-makers of Twilight did in those 2 hours of craptasm.

Now, let's not fool ourselves, the unyielding, nauseating love in the book doesn't have the kind of prose that sings off the page, but the movie had all the character development and romantic thrill of a cheap porn, and when I could no longer stand the awkward intimacy between the two leads, I distracted myself thinking of clever names for the X-rated version while trying to dislodge a popcorn kernel from my gums.

Let's talk actors - Granted, Kristen Stewart, who plays Bella, looks the part well enough, but her mannish, awkward voice and unusual acting style took me out of the movie before the credits even started. And it couldn't have been ten minutes in before Bella meets Jacob (Taylor Lautner) - her Native-American love-interest, who was giving her the kind of stares that really do only belong in pornos. Once he was introduced, this Summit movie only went downhill, but I kept my silence, you know, trying to be polite.

Picture it: Jacob telling Bella how his tribe is supposedly descended by wolves and the Cullens are "cold ones".

Cut to: Stock sepia footage of wolves running through woods and the Cullens dressed in age-old attire feasting on humans.

While Jacob's acting did only get worse, then we were introduced to the guy who plays Edward, Robert Pattinson (whose forehead goes for days, doesn't it?). I thought he seemed like a poor pick for Edward, and I was totally vindicated.

Picture it: Bella takes her seat in biology. Edward is sitting at her lab table holding his nose and looking as though he's got a hurl or at least a good dry-heave coming.

Cut to: Me needing MY gag-bucket. The over-acting was strenuous - painful.

Picture it: Bella guessing what Edward is - with music-video like camera angles sweeping across the forest before landing in on a closeup of the leads.

Cut to: Me wondering if maybe we had somehow entered the wrong theater?

And then there's this chick named Jessica that we're supposed to hate, or rather, she's supposed to annoy us - like - ew, Jessica, go away. But sadly, Jessica was about the only good thing about the movie - like - please, Jessica, come back.

As for the rest of the Cullen coven, (who are all supposed to be timeless beauties), Rosalie had roots, Carlisle's makeup was too thick, Emmett was hot, Alice looked old, Esme was kind of non-descript and Jasper was a total freak. Seriously, he walked around with the kind of expression we might find in a Johnny Depp character.

I guess the fight scenes were kind of awesomely bad - I was loving the snarls and the intense stares -

Picture it: Edward's vampy sister, Alice, helping a bleeding Bella, while struggling to maintain her composure at the tasty treat.

Cut to: Her jumping on another vampire and RIPPING HIS HEAD OFF in blue-balled frustration.

Giggle. I had a violent laughing episode in response to that, and well, several other scenes once it became apparent that I wasn't the only one who thought this movie was just bad.

The music, the actors, the set design, the choreography ... everything was just WRONG.

Picture it: Edward staring into Bella's eyes and saying, "You're my life." Bella stumbling over the idea of Edward leaving her. Edward pretending to nap. An uncomfortable close-up of Bella's mother's face. Mike Newton humping a tree. The Gaysian. Edward's station wagon. Edward's sparkles, that really looked more like persperation, on a sparsely hairy chest.

Picture it: Edward flying with Bella up into a tree a la Crouching Tiger and saying, "Better hold on, Spider Monkey."

Cut to: Several more popcorn kernels becoming lodged in my gums on their way back out.

I can't wait for the sequel!

Pushing Daisies Canceled

Sounds like even Young Ned has his life-restoring limits - Entertainment Weekly announced yesterday that ABC will order no more episodes of its BEST show, Pushing Daisies. While production will complete on all 13 episodes, the article says they may NOT be aired due to failing ratings.

This is the most depressing TV news since Friends decided to call it quits ... the time that it actually did.

Freshman series Eli Stone and sophomore Dirty Sexy Money also took the hit at ABC - but they deserved it. At the very least Dirty Sexy Money, which was neither innovative or different from myriad other self-promotion-esque shows.

Pushing Daisies is my favorite show on TV now. The costumes, the sets, the story-lines, the effects, they're all so graphic, so unusual, such a positive departure from other TV shows today. Voice-over-narration done RIGHT, quirky scenarios, dark humor, subversive commentaries on acceptable social norms and performances such as our treatment toward death/funerals, comfort food and sexual relationships. This show was evolution. I guess I forget the US has a problem with such change.

Simply put, there is nothing on TV as good as Pushing Daisies.

Everyday I'm starting to believe more and more in John Stuart Mill's description of the tyranny of the majority - how democracy is flawed because the majority is not always right.

To illustrate the point, in the past month there have been a few shining examples: the passing of Proposition 8, California's revocation of same-sex marriages, TV's insistence that Paris Hilton's broken relationship with some dude named Benji is actually interesting news, the strange success of Perez Hilton and the cancelation of MadTV.

To drive the knife in even further, ABC announced that it IS keeping Private Practice, a considerably WORSE SHOW, bumping it up to a more competitive spot on Thursday nights. Private Practice is good for only one thing - Taye Diggs - and even he is overshadowed by some over-bearing woman a trite TV relationship scenario that should have died with disco.

Remaining as impartial as possible, I can name several inferior, uninnovative shows that should have kicked the can long before Pushing Daisies: Private Practice, The Bachelor, Brothers & Sisters, According to Jim, Dancing with the Stars, Super Nanny, Scrubs to name a few on ABC - and although I hope they don't cancel them, Pushing Daisies IS better than Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy.

On other networks there are shows I do like and are doing swimingly that are not nearly as good as Pushing Daisies: Heroes, True Blood, Dexter, and Kath & Kim.

Pushing Daisies was a star in an otherwise blasé American TV line-up that is supposedly in its platinum period. Color me disappointed in ABC, call me sad about the future of TV, and think of me unhappy with the people of California and TV watchers everywhere.

Because of you, even Young Ned can't save our stinking TV souls.