Friday, November 30, 2007

Project Runway: cricket-cricket

This week, on Project Runway, the designers had to create a menswear piece suitable for The Today Show. Wednesday night's Distress-Fest demonstrated the designer's inability to piece together such attire, and the overall effect of the episode was equally dull.

A firm believer in self-medication, I waited and waited for the Springer-dramatics and fabulous-fashions I HAD BEEN hoping for to fix me through another week of college finals-hell.

But, just like last week, the fashion and feuds never came.
Nearly a quarter of the way completed, I have YET to be awestruck by any of the designers of Season 4. The greatest reactions I have had, in fact, were in response to those instances LACKING clothes.

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say this show has "jumped the shark..." like the authors Tom and Lorenzo of the blog Project RunGay, but I would like to use their blogging style to spice-up some of the only fanatics of this episode:
"Same time tomorrow?" "Yes, please!"
"Why couldn't they just get rid of Christian? Nobody would have cried!"
"GASP!!! ... ... I hate you with the fury of a thousand Michael Kohrs!!!!"
"Designers, I am honored to introduce Tiki Barber ...."
"Whoooo? ..." cricket, cricket
"I talk like my lips are chapped! Where's my Sunny D?"

"Hi, my name is Rami, aka Monet. "

"But you can call me, The Mummy. "


"'Sorry, I would love to talk to you right now, but I can't.' ... I'm acting straight."

"I'm just THIS side of comatose. Tiki has me on drugs."

"I heard THAT -- I know the feeling. Mmm ... drugs."

"My design looks like a Members only jacket!??! Oh NO YOU DI-UNT! I'ma cut a bitch, right here in this studio -- I'm talkin' ssslice ssslice!! Get out my way!"

"Oh. Don't say bitch." Hoooooock - ptew. ... "RAINBOWS AND LOVE!"

"I'm the only thing fabulous about this episode."

"Well bad is it?"

"Sweet P, I am going to be completely honest with you. It looks as if you shit your ass off and pinned it to a dress form. It is just egregiously bad."

"I am totally chafing in this."

"Soy Nina García, OKAY?! Cry before me!"

Life is hard.

ARROWED!!!!! "OH! It hurts. Where dat SKANKY BARBER WOMAN!?!"

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Pitters vs. Janie RD1

Janie is NOT filled with the Christmas spirit.

The cats battled fiercely last night, and I heard Janie throw ... THROW ... Pitters against my door at least 3 times (once for every leg), followed by several minutes of gurgling-growls and tail-thumps.

Their wars inevitably end in Pitters making her MAD-DASH out of the room in a literal hissing-fit with Janie not far behind. I'm sure if I had a "paws"-mode for real life, I would see a smug-smile underneath those shifty eyes.

On the other hand, however, Pitters is lost in Christmas-land. At any moment I expect her to throw down some holly and bust out Mariah Carey, because you know she's a diva!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Can you read my mind,

I'm thinking of a number between 1-55, take a guess at what it is. No, seriously, before you read on, think of a number.

Can I just say, that watching TV along with a full school schedule and a job at a TV station is not such an easy task -- in fact, I've only kept up with ... counting ... I've only kept up with four shows. That is Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, Grey's Anatomy and (drumroll) America's Psychic Challenge (I know, right?).

Maybe this show is totally bogus, but it's great! The premise: 16 psychics from around the nation (ojo: conveniently located within the Los Angeles area) compete four at a time in tournament-style competition. Jolín!

Last Friday, the remaining four psychics competed in the semi-finals. A gay-empath and a ditsy-Blondie went home leaving Michelle, who says she comes "...from the light," and Jackie, a voodooist, who affectionately calls herself the White Serpent.

Even though Michelle says she " in the dark way," Jackie is my favorite (new meaning to bowl-cut!). How can you not LOVE a character who carries animal organs in her purse, constantly refers to herself as Ms. Jackie and, when touched, gets angry and mumbles, "I certainly wouldn't piss off a voodooist!" Plus, she kind of reminds me of Penny Marshall!


Click here to read more on the White Serpent.

I've only had a close encounter with one so-called-psychic. Her name was Tina Lee, a squat Hispanic woman who told me in a free-reading I'd have a long life on either the East or West Coast (I know, SPOOOKY-specific) and that I needed to balance-my-life through meditation holding crystals that only she owned in her shop on Massachusetts Street.

The first time I met her, I was scouting-psychics with a couple friends for a Halloween Event. We walked into her shop and she asked if she could help us. Pausing ever so slightly to see if she'd "read my mind," I was disappointed when I finally had to relent.

She gave my friend Mary a private reading in a cubicle in the middle of the bright fluorescent room while her kids watched Elmo on a big-screen, and I sneezed from the sage-incense and Mary Mother-of-God votive candles burning nearby.

She said Mary (my Mary, not the Mother-of-God) was an alcoholic in a past life. Her fee? $500/event. That's a lot of cash for a lot of clap-trap and oye, even though I got every one of the challenges wrong on America's Psychic Challenge, I think I should start reading!

By the way, the number I was thinking of was 26. If you got it, (or were in proximity) contact Lifetime now to participate in next season's competition. And don't miss the finale this Friday (or catch episodes online)!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Return of the Sitcom

With nearly 15 million viewers, Samantha Who? marks a turning point, or rather a returning point, in today's TV trends.

The new 30-minute comedy is the only kind of its class ranked consistently in Nielsen's Top weekly shows, even with a million-viewer drop off over the last few weeks.

Starring Married...With Children's Christina Applegate, Samantha Who? chronicals the life of a woman with retrograde amnesia as she slowly unveils the mysteries of her past.

The comedy also stars Designing Women's Jean Smart (a smart move by ABC) as Samantha's mother, who is set on exploiting her dauther's condition to be selected for Extreme Home Makeover, another ABC program. Gotta love the interadvertisement!

People today are quick to say Americans have short attention spans and won't dedicate themselves for long periods of time, but today's TV trends suggest otherwise. We have become so invested in story lines, networks have even canned the once-popular opening theme songs (stay tuned for the best of TV themes blog): Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy are two examples of shows that have already dropped their intros.

A refreshing break from these monotonous hour-long, dramatic-comedy trends, Samantha Who? is short and light and doesn't take itself too seriously.

Even while the story line isn't more complicated than a couple seasons, for now, at least, it's gold. On October 30, ABC picked up the show for the full season.

Samantha Who? airs Mondays on ABC (Sunflower Broadband ch. 9).

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Happy Halloween!

Here are some additions to the Photo-Folio from Halloween, CHALK Magazine, and my baking adventures.

This year for Halloween, yours-truly decided to dress as my favorite feline, Pitters. This was the proto-type I wore to Haunted Hawk Nights of the three-legged creation! Meow.

Titled: Where to start??Subject: Matthew Hull
About: This photo was shot for an article in CHALK Magazine dealing with moving post-college. Something both he and I fear in the year(s) to come.

Titled: Rockstar
Subject: Beth Lagarón
About: These photos were shot at Beth's apartment for an article in CHALK Magazine dealing with students' decisions to pursue alternatives to college. Beth is, of course, a rockstar.

Titled: Green Guitar
Subject: Bright Eyes' Guitar
About: This photo was taken at the Bright Eyes concert held at the Lied Center at KU in October 2007. Before the show, I walked around the set-up and took photos, then later met the band (and wasn't impressed).

Titled: Conor
Subject: Conor, of Bright Eyes
About: Taken during the Bright Eyes Concert at KU in October 2007.

Finally, here are some recent "Cake-Creations" I made. The first was my roommate Matthew's birthday cake.

These photos are of the infamous Carrie Cake I made for our special screening of "Carrie" Wednesday, October 24, 2007 (pre-and-post-prom, respectively).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Fall Freshmen Series: Fare Thee Well?

Well into the fall schedule, here are TV's new seasons on my five-star scale. Supplemental information also provided by TiVo and on how they're fairing with the general TV-watching population.

Cane: *** -- Ranked 99th most watched show on TV today but with a lowly 6.8 user-voted rating.
> A good addition, if a bit esoteric. A pinch of melodrama and a dash of unbelievability.

Pushing Daisies: **** -- 7th highest ranked show (of all time) -- 62nd most watched show -- 9.3 rating.
> Quirky, yet hip. Tim Burton-macabre-style with artistic cinematography and narration.

Bionic Woman: *** -- 17th most TiVo'd -- 42nd most watched show -- 8.3 rating.
> It's good, but not that good. A little dry with bad acting -- watch only if
you need some gratuitous violence.

Private Practice: **** -- 11th most TiVo'd show -- 80th most watched show -- 8.7 rating.
> Slower paced than its TV-parent, Grey's Anatomy, but surprisingly quite good, especially for a slightly older audience.

Dirty Sexy Money: * -- 376th most watched show (not kidding) -- 8.9 rating.
> Only ranked so high because no one watches it -- it's simply already been done.

: ** --58th most watched show -- 8.3 rating.
> Film noir meets vampires -- a little predictable (read: boring), but not half bad.

America's Psychic Challenge: ***** Full Five! -- abysmal 6.1 rating (it's bad, but OH so good!)
> Debuted last week as the BEST-BAD reality show on TV. In the premiere, the first group of four psychics had to find a living man in an abandoned mental institution, give a reading of a hidden celebrity, and describe the events of an unsolved murder. As the show progressed, the first four contestants (of sixteen) were rated and two were given the psychic boot, begging the question, why would audition if you knew you weren't going to win?

Tune in this Friday to see two more "psychics" kicked off. Playing Fridays 9 p.m. on Lifetime
(Sunflower Broadband ch. 2).

Monday, October 22, 2007

Wisteria Women Welcome the Gays

ABC produces yet another gay character this week on Desperate Housewives ... make that two. The newest hysteria to Wisteria? Bob and Lee (played by Tuc Watkins and Kevin Rahm, respectively) The lucky gay couple, along with their pet-pal Rafael, are parked next to Susan -- who incidently steals their dog in an attempt to win their affection. Confused? So is Susan.

The addition makes ABC the standout in GLBT representation, according to an earlier GLAAD study showing that there are 16 gay of 710 regular characters on the six major networks today: ABC with 15 and one on NBC. With the addition, 17 are now hosted by ABC with 3 on Desperate Housewives alone: Andrew Van de Camp, Bob, and Lee.

> This awkward-interaction scene comes when Susan introduces herself to the new neighbors:

Susan: I'm Susan I live next door.
Bob: Oh hi, I'm Lee's partner, Bob.
Susan: Oh! You're partners -- what kind of business? You know, whatever it is, just don't let the neighborhood association know you work out of your house. They're so not cool.
Bob: Actually, we're life partners.
Susan: oh...Oh! (pause) OH!! That's super! Haha, yeah, I've seen a lot of cable so I "GET" it ... you're just great!
Lee: Uh, thank you? I hope we can live up to your stereotype.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Ellen Degerenes' Dog - Drama

> Yesterday, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the host pleaded with the dog rescue group, "Mutts and Moms" to return a dog they seized. According to the Associated Press, DeGeneres claimed the dog did not mesh well with her cats, so she gave it to her hair-stylist, in what Mutts and Moms called a breach of her adoption contract; however, Ellen's publicist said what she did was in the best nature of the animal -- a Brussels Griffon terrier mix named Iggy.

Because of the statement on her show, the organization, especially Marina Batkis, received "...voicemail and email threats of death and arson." Batkis did not believe the family was well-suited to own a dog for reasons not specified.

"It's very upsetting to hear that someone is getting those kind of calls," DeGeneres' publicist Kelly Bush said. "Ellen just wants the dog reunited with the family."

While it is just a dog, it's validating to see so much effort poured forth to protect the rights and well-being of an animal. My only hope is that that is the true nature of this group's doggy-dogma.

Also, click here to watch the video of Ellen pleading on her show yesterday.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Midget Mac now supports

> Midget Mac now supports! Check out his official Myspace page:

Click here!

The video I made last week is featured in the videos section -- he also promised to add a link, which has yet to come to fruition.

See what other promises this mini-man-Mac breaks tonight on I Love New York 2 at 8 p.m. on VH1.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Dora -- Exploring ... Erections?

While shopping at Target this morning, I happened upon some very interesting, if disturbing, TV-based toys in the children's section.

This gem, part of the Dora The Explorer collection caught my eye first. As I looked down upon the shelf, I saw Dora's innocent face peering out and directly below her what then looked (and still does) to be an erect penis, and below that a very interested-looking monkey! Apparently, this flesh colored lever is what children manually (as in with their hands) ... use to score.

Feel free to come to your own conclusions, but if I were a parent I would feel not only embarrassed to see my child working this control in his or her lap on a drowsy Saturday morning but would also feel ashamed of the toy companies and designers who did not see the phallic flaw in such a product.

That in mind, as a non-parent, I think it's funny as hell.

Sitting next to Dora is her Nickelodeon compatriot, SpongeBob SquarePants in his rendition of the handheld game controller for his game called, "The Fry Cook Game."

My first glance at this product, however, read a very different word than cook.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I Love New York 2: Sister Patterson -- Biggest Reality Villain? -- Video Clip

From screaming at midgets -- to choking her daughter -- to asking to see a suitor's ... genitalia ..., Sister Patterson Trumps TV's biggest reality villains any day (sorry old man).

I Love New York 2 is the best guilty-pleasure reality TV programming you're not watching (or being offended by)! I Love New York 2 airs on VH1 Mondays at 8 p.m. Central (Sunflower Broadband ch. 66).

Check out the following clips I compiled from last night's premiere, a special video of some of Sister Patterson's more charming moments as well as a sneak peek at Season 2.

Monday, October 08, 2007


Here are some recent additions to my Photo-Folio, shot for CHALK Magazine.

Titled: Hear
Subject: Kristin Grossman
About: Taken for an article involving music piracy, I wanted to represent the subject in black and white in a metaphor for right and wrong -- good and bad -- legal and illegal. The subject is "behind bars" so to speak, and until the third row of photos is completely oblivious to her audience and then seems embarrassed. But she gets over it quickly, and by the time she addresses the audience again (in the bottom right corner) she no longer seems to value our opinion.

Titled: Emergency
Subjects: Kelsey Beckman (fore) Colleen Long (back)
About: Taken for an article involving the minutiae of college health and deciding when it's time to visit the emergency room, Kelsey is pulling away her intoxicated friend -- illustrating the weight with which alcohol-abuse affects the college community. She's also looking upward, somewhat helplessly, as though she doesn't know where else to turn.

Titled: The Almost Graduate
Subjects: Megan Adams
About: Taken in a photo essay to illustrate the "Life of Beer Money," Megan sits holding a blue tequila bottle filled with coins that she later pours into hands -- just as the vast amount of money spent on alcohol is poured right into government programs promoting its resistance.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Liz Taylor -- Coyote Cry

Liz Taylor can pull off convincing impersonations! This is George Dub-ya's view of gay marriage -- complete with Bushman primal grunting. (Actually, it's just about her love life -- but I thought that was depressing enough.)

Obama stops sporting the Stars & Stripes to start supporting them

> In unusual TV news this week, Democratic Presidential hopeful, Barack Obama, D-Ill., said in an on-air interview that he would no longer wear the American Flag lapel-pin that has become so politician-popular post 9-11. He says the pin itself has become a substitute for true patriotism and he'd rather show his loyalty by reforming the country than sporting cheap-collar-clap-trap. An admirable message -- but strangely, super-risky.

"I decided I won't wear that pin on my chest. I'm going to try to tell the American people what I believe will make this country great and hopefully that will be a testimony to my patriotism," he said.

Apparently what Barack doesn't know is what hurts him: No, the American people don't think paltry-pins promote patriotism -- it's those magnetic yellow car-ribbons (bought from the "local" Wal-Mart) that really stand as a true American testimony.

Anyone feeling unease about Senator Obama's decision can rest-assured: Senator Clinton's pin is parked prominently on her pink suit.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Pushing Daisies: Series Premiere

>Pushing Daisies, yet another of ABC's fall-freshman-flairs, puts the network way ahead of the game in the 18-39 year old slot. With shows like Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, and Dancing with the Stars, ABC is domineering the television market.

And the best part of this show: it's unlike ANYTHING on television. Even the paranormal deviants, Bionic Woman and Moonlight seem to follow the same tired TV trends we suffer these days (not that we don't like ruts, we just don't love them).

Pushing Daisies is edgy, witty, and most of all artistic -- blurring the already thin line between television and movies today.

This clip features Swoosie Kurtz (ER) and Ellen Greene (Little Shop of Horrors) as Charolette's aunts. According to the narrator, "...they shared matching personality disorders and a love of cheese..."

Pushing Daisies airs Wednesdays 7 p.m. Central on ABC (Sunflower Broadband ch. 9)

NBC Hires a Homophobe

> Introduced as the Bionic Woman's "supervisor" Isaiah Washington, the infamous homophobic-ex-star of Grey's Anatomy, began his new-career tonight in the show's second episode, Paradise Lost.

The move was foul on NBC's part -- sloppy seconds don't fare well in stiff competition, especially like the one that exists between NBC and ABC. And with a show as green as Bionic Woman, NBC took an unnecessary risk -- a lot of money for a tarnished name.